Peace

i’ve been in social media hibernation in order to focus but more recently its just pure resistance to returning. So this is my dare to get me there, time to jump, acknowledge my absence, and note intentions about entering the fray.

i find myself asking (again). 

How did i get here? and am reminded of the song Once in a Lifetime by the Talking Heads.

Little Haven got started in a workshop that turned into a creative retreat resulting in new art, writing and much to my delight, a re-invention & re-invigoration of my work with clients. 

i’ve come to a stronger focus on process, inviting the magic that can happen when we are willing to engage the between, a potent place of discovery and creation.

Intrinsically, a mediator, i invariably wind up seeing many facets, bridging gaps, looking for new perspectives and common ground. i often find myself exploring “the between”, my view of the world is rarely extremes of black and white, for or against. i straddle disciplines, domains, explore perspectives, listen deeply in my aim to understand and contribute. Informally mediating even as a kid, later in the 90s it became part of my work as a crisis counselor.

i am a #9, The Peacemaker in the Enneagram personality system. So, it is no surprise that i find myself, not in one camp or another on a lot of issues and events. Oh, i do have my opinions, have been known to soapbox my dear friends, but i know there are many perspectives to be observed and considered as we move forward. 

Discourse has changed significantly in a short time with the advent of social media. Reticent in the beginning, wary of a form of communication lacking important qualities that would be present with in person discourse. Eventually, i stepped in and saw its value, expansive possibilities as well as its vulnerability to miss use. As with any new tool, we can be clumsy with it, until we figure out how best to use it. It’s amazing & challenging and its rapid pace of change adds to the challenge of its skillful use.

Yes…back to my resistance to returning. i’ve been disheartened by the divisive trend over the last few years, the polarization, the quick easy use of memes (and profile badges) to signal alliances. On the surface these seems supportive and like a good idea. They can be and yet, can also serve as a subtle way to “other” those with different views, provoke an “us and them” limited mindset that can lead to unconscious reactive group behavior.

It’s easy in our busy lives to vote for a side and not take the time to read an in-depth article, consider another’s perspective or the complexity of varied histories and contexts of an issue. i’m concerned about rhetoric that inflames bonding protective tribal instincts over the bonding caring aspects of our humanity.

In the last 2 years with overt censorship, i’ve become more troubled. It is disconcerting to observe people shaming others for questioning, with the suggestion that if people exercise a healthy skepticism or question a mainstream narrative that they must be a conspiracy wingnut. To shame the act of questioning so essential to increasing our knowledge and understanding seems cult like and ominous.

i get the desire for a shorthand form of communicating that busyness invites. i too have a full plate and have been dealing with personal circumstances that have limited my time and energy to participate, especially knowing i might feel compelled to enter the fray on some controversial and emotional topics. i admit to putting my head in the sand, it’s time to remove it.

Maybe i’m sticking it in the lion’s mouth with this post? Well if so, i’ve been practicing…

Time to take a stand for the questioners of the world; for moderation, listening, deeper thinking, more in depth research and analysis. i’m celebrating my curiosity and questioning spirit and intent going forward not to allow my desire to be accepted by a group, curb my sharing, my curiosities, observations and desire to spur questioning in others. Hopefully, leading to more creative thinking rather than fear driven polarizing conformity.  

May this be an invitation to readers to take pause and think about how you’re using social media.

Are you sharing things that help inform and bring greater analysis and understanding? Or, caught up in fear, venting and signaling your participation in a group, seeking approval and comfort? If you do that, i get it, we’re all vulnerable to it, me too. Maybe you can acknowledge that, then take a step forward towards understanding someone with different or even contrary views.

What could that step be?

If we listen, genuinely listen and try to understand, then we have a better chance of that person feeling heard and doing the same for us. Then, maybe we can find some common ground instead of being locked in a right, wrong; win, lose; us, them, battle.

In answer to those who are concerned understandably about misinformation during a public health crisis, i suggest that if we’d been teaching media literacy and emotional intelligence as important subjects for an educated and critically  thinking populous, a necessary part of a healthy democracy, we wouldn’t be dealing with the fears of “fringe groups” and misinformation running away with gullible human minds. i get that there is no quick easy fix to an already malleable population. The tendency to think we must control is amplified by our fear, fear that many people due to our overall lack of emotional intelligence, have little sense of how to manage. This makes it easy to distorts our thinking.

And, i think we’ll come to regret shortcuts such as censorship.

Shutting people out is not a way to reach them (or the people who may be listening to people you may think are unreachable). When we censor, there‘s a good chance we can provoke a part of the censored to be more determined in their stance and develop greater desire to find a way to share their concerns. At the same time, we make a lot of people curious about what’s being censored. To inquire where they might have carried on not noticing otherwise. So, it is likely even counter-productive to the goals of those genuinely trying to address misinformation during a public health crisis. It also erodes trust rather than building or renewing it.

i was surprised to learn the significant size of the viewer ships of some alternative sources of information that have been censored for being misinformation. Several far exceed some mainstream media’s viewership. Research that, if you’re not aware, for an eye opener.

i believe, along with media literacy and the development of emotional intelligence, the answer to miss information, is more information and outreach, not less through censorship. Let’s have better transparency and more forums where we can witness and engage with scholars and specialist from numerous perspectives in their field openly debate, rather than censoring.

Another drawback to sharing polarized rhetoric and censoring, is that sides form and gather in separate places. Silos of information develop and the creative cross pollination of exploring diverse views is lost. Invariably, the solutions developed for the challenges we face will be weaker. Censorship is short sighted, and limits the creative solutions so badly needed. Imagine instead, working together on common ground solutions. It is dissenting voices, voices on the fringe that often make surprising and important breakthroughs. We must have room for them or we risk losing important innovations and new understanding.  

Then, there is the slippery slope. Censorship starts with some outrageous, loudmouth blustering paranoid alarmist, many can agree is troublesome. Then, it creeps and soon there is censoring of writers, artists intellectuals who are seasoned experts in their field, well established and much respected scientist. Suddenly banned because they have questioned and presented other possibilities. Without questioners providing a check, large hierarchical system can become runaway trains unable to stop, re-evaluate to find improved solutions.

It’s easy to convince ourselves we need censorship in a public health crisis, until it broadens to another arena. We know this historically and can see it has slid. We are now seeing, political commentators, journalist and filmmakers, (Oliver Stone’s movie on Ukraine banned from Youtube) writing on geopolitical issues having their work banned from various forms of media.

i think we can all agree we need to have and be better leaders and stewards of this amazing planet and its humanity. i believe it starts inside with how you lead yourself and thus treat others. It continues with good questions drawing us forward into new possible futures. Futures with a focus on what we could create together rather than what we are against.   

Today’s drawing is a response to the current conflict so much in the media. A post for Peace standing in solidarity with all people of the world who are experiencing the ravages of senseless unnecessary war not just the ones who happen to be capturing the attention of our mainstream media. i don’t mean to diminish the response to suffering of the Ukrainian people, only to point out how the narrative the mainstream chooses to cover makes a difference. We ought to be questioning that more and holding them to account.

We could be doing more to improve the sorry state of our mainstream media and its part in the polarized fear filled state of people all over our country and the world. This fear keeps us in reactive fight or flight short term escape mode instead of striving for deeper solutions.

Back to the Talking Heads Once in a Lifetime song… i wish we could all including our world leaders and talking heads find some humility and self-reflect

“and you may ask yourself, ‘am I right am I wrong?’ And you may ask yourself, ‘My god what have I done?”

Pause, be accountable, find a better way forward together.

As i step back into social media, i am owning my betweeness, claiming my inner questioner, hoping to be a voice for checking group behavior. Without people questioning and challenging group think, we can become lemmings running off the “flat earth” cliff.

Don’t be afraid to be an outlier.

If you’ve had a hunch, dig in and share what you learn. Maybe others who were thinking the same but were afraid, will  be moved to share and look more carefully. Don’t allow your curiosity to be diminished by shame and fear.

If you made it to the end thanks for reading. i don’t plan on writing such long posts in the future. There are other writers who can likely speak more easily and  eloquently to these issues.

Going forward, i hope to be posting more on social media in a way that helps to unify and illuminate invite you to jump the frame! Reach for higher states of understanding and consciousness. Be willing to be with uncertainty, in order to find the bridge between here and (to reference Charles Eisenstein’s book) The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible.

i’ll end with a favorite quote:

“The assumption that what currently exists must necessarily exist is the acid that corrodes all visionary thinking.” -Murray Bookchin

And a favorite Joan Armatrading song My Family

Thank you! & please share with anyone you think might appreciate this post.